"Dad Jokes" Thread

Community General
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Because I know you’re on Keebtalk while you’re at work :laughing:

What’s brown and sticky?
A stick!

Have you ever been to the restaurant on the moon?
GREAT Food, but no atmosphere

Did you hear about the inventor of the “Knock Knock” jokes?
He won the No Bell Prize!

Why Can’t you hear a psychiatrist go to the restroom?
The P is silent!

When I was a kid, I was told I could be anyone…
No one told me identity theft was a crime!

Why did the stadium get so hot after the game?
All the fans left!

What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho cheese!

I was gonna tell a joke about pizza,
but it’s a bit too cheesy.

Want to hear a joke about paper?
Nevermind, it’s tearable.

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If you get enough threads, you can make a “Dad Jokes” Shirt.

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should’ve wrote all mine down. will keep this thread in mind when I become a dad.

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What do you get with a pampered cow?
Spoiled Milk!

What does James bond do before bed?
He goes undercover

Can February March?
No, but April May

Where do boats go when they’re sick?
To the doc!

I don’t trust stairs,
they’re always up to something

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What do you call a cow without legs?
Ground beef.

What do you get when you drop a piano down a mine shaft?
A flat minor.

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What did the cannibal get when he showed up late for dinner?

The cold shoulder.

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Something you can say to keyboards and exotic dancers:
“Damn that’s some nice pole travel”

“Yeah I’d try 'em for a few bucks”

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What did the ocean say to the slow container ship from China?

Nothing, it just waved.

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What did the silent switch say to the silent switch?

Answer: ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀(he he get it it’s silent)

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I was trying to type up a keyboard joke for this thread, but nothing clicked.

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Everyone knows Karl Marx, a historically famous philosopher, but no one remembers his sister.

Onya, the inventor of the starting pistol.

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Why is being into keyboards gangsta?

Inevitably you bust a cap.

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When I laugh at that joke I sound like cracked stems

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The first rule of ASL club is you don’t talk about ASL club

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Today I found out there was a Javascript powered smartwatch. This prompted the following internal monologue:

Did you hear about the Javascript powered smartwatch? People said it had a lot of promise, but they got sick of awaiting it.

Why yes @Manofinterests, I am indeed on KT at work, how did you know?

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When you mentioned JavaScript-powered smart watch, I immediately assumed it was Bangle.js, but seems like someone else decided to do a JS-powered smart watch?

I have the Bangle.js and quite like it, though it definitely is a lower-end device compared to the Spectra.

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What does a vegan zombie eat?

GRAINS!!!

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Be prepared; this is the worst dad joke that you’ll ever hear:

  • What happens if you smash your head on your keyboard?
    dgroijdrig